• I got my first shot of Pfizer’s on Monday
    • the road to to vaccination was like a little treasure hunt
      • covid-19 vaccination signs from denmark hill all the way to a small building hidden out the back
    • after the vaccine we were given a piece of paper, about 1cm by 2cm, with a time written on it. i was told “Find an empty seat without paper on it, and when you leave put the paper on the seat,” before being seen into a room of chairs laid out in a checkerboard pattern
  • The vaccine really beat me up, and I had a few days off work with a sore arm and some flu symptoms
    • my immune system is already a huge mess and doesn’t need any encouragement
    • it kind of felt like when you get high for four days by eating a whole nutmeg
  • I’ve started working on a second UFO album, this one is called 🛸 I WANT TO LEAVE 🛸
  • i got my laptop back from lenovo. they replaced the top and all my stickers are gone, including many hand-made ones and a shiny PARTY HARD sticker
  • apart from that I’ve been playing fortnite, going for walks, drinking dry martinis (straight gin)
  • have a good day

I feel really queasy like I’m going to throw up

is this the vaccine too?

I have a thing where I sometimes experience physical sensations as emotions, and this feels like fear and guilt and like I’m going to be found out

my laptop is back, and it works! hooray

but they’ve replaced the whole top and all my stickers are gone ;-;

some of them were handmade by abe for my birthday ;-;

time to start again

  • this’ll be a short one because i only have until tomorrow to unlock the chicken costume in Fortnite and I’m still 3 levels away
  • i’ve been looking through old eating disorder-era recipe books for ideas
    • i’ve eaten a lot of bacon, egg and philadelphia
  • i smashed my laptop off a door after being frightened by a wasp
    • it’s been taken away to a Lenovo Repair Centre, which appears to be administered by IBM??
  • found this in my notes: “album idea: texas school book depository”
    • there are no further details
      • however it is a good idea
  • there was a mouse just sitting on the bathroom floor, completely still
  • three asterisks in a line is called a dinkus ***
  • i’ve been kind of sick for days, maybe just getting used to the new diet
  • i’m getting vaccinated tomorrow
  • ok, i gotta go drive from durr burger to pizza pit

ok lol, i’ve booked a repair for my laptop.

surprisingly straightforward once i found the phone number, which was really not straightforward. If you ever need a UK repair for a Lenovo laptop that you bought cover for this is the number: +44 333 777 3991

all the e-mails i’ve received about the repair have been from ibm e-mail addresses, which is weird

abe just met a mouse in the bathroom. it was sitting completely still with its eyes closed.

we put it in a planter, wrapped it in a rug and then brought it to the park where we released it.

it just sat there in the park, completely still with its eyes now open. I saw it blink once. I asked it a lot of questions, but it didn’t move

we’ve come back in now

There was someone with a voice I didn’t recognise laughing in the hallway outside my apartment; they had a really strange laugh. While I was trying to process this strange new clown enemy, a wasp flew at me. I really can’t handle wasps; I have a phobia. In a panic state I swung out at the great beast with whatever was in my hands: my Lenovo Thinkpad T14s (Gen1).

It crashed against the door and the screen came off its hinge.


My windows were closed all day yesterday, the wasp must have been inside a long time. I found it this morning in the kitchen. It was crawling around on the radiator, trying to scale a bottle of aloe vera hand sanitizer.

Each time it would get a little further, and then fall back to the radiator. Sometimes it fell through the holes in the radiator and had to climb all the way back up the internals.

So small it seemed now, the great beast of yesterday, I chose to spare it. Opening the kitchen window, watching the tiny pitiable creature muster enough strength to fly out into the morning sun, I must admit, I felt a little tinge of hope.

in reply to the brutal secrets of UK deportation flight Esparto 11 (the guardian)
At 5.15am, a detainee in a T-shirt and boxers was presented for handover with a bloody nose. Described as “calm and polite throughout”, the Kuwaiti’s nose had been injured during extraction while he repeatedly insisted his removal was cancelled, the escorts wrote. When they finally checked, it transpired he had been telling the truth.

these people are coming to our shores on little rubber dinghies, asking for help. and we’re breaking their noses and sending them away

  • trigger warning: diet, weight, eating disorders
    • it was 2017 when i last lost a huge amount of weight. i lost about half my weight.
      • i used keto
      • eventually i realised, sometime in 2018, that thinking about food all the time and counting calories in an app was disordered
        • i’ve struggled with bulimia in the past, and various other mental and dietary issues
          • i was sectioned a number of years ago, so i try to be careful about cultivating new and interesting disorders
      • i decided to stop dieting, to let myself gain weight and not feel bad about it
      • i have a blood test from 2018 which shows my blood sugar was fine
      • so now i know that giving myself a break has literally given me diabetes
      • and the way to live with diabetes is to go on a diet almost identical to keto
      • what an exciting new challenge
      • what a depressing, yet thematically sound, series of events
  • i’ve been sick most of this week
    • physically
    • though mentally i am not doing well
      • i am not looking forward to the next part of my life
      • i don’t know how to cook for myself without rice
      • i don’t know how to be alone
      • sometimes i have this warm and comforting daydream where i die in my sleep
  • i set up backups on my laptop and the snoot.club server this morning
    • i’m using borg
      • because fox told me to
        • basically borg and restic is where the deduplicated encryption backup stuff is at Foxboron

      • it is a cool piece of software though
  • i was going to look into adding a gutenberg sidebar for the indieweb Post Kinds wordpress plugin this weekend, but instead i closed my laptop and had a lie down
  • i bought the Besley* and Jost* variable fonts from indestructible type* for my weblog
    • Jost* is the variable futura of my dreams
    • here is another great font: https://www.dafont.com/w95fa.font
      • i’m using this as my system font at the moment. it looks great.
        • screenshot of my computer showing a retro windows-like theme.
  • remember when they reanimated bob monkhouse’s ashen corpse so he could appear in an advert on terrestrial television

i’ve just done some info crunching,trying to distil what i want to say with “free software”
but without the problems of the term “free software” (having to explain you don’t mean $$$)
and the problem with “open-source” (having to explain it’s also still Free)
and all the related bad terms like: FOSS FLOSS etc
and i have come up with a new and better term:

public software


update: i am not the first person to use this term \:D/