keep it to yourself
i find it hard to get things done. every couple of springs (by coincidence,
rather than tradition) i'll write down everything i need to do, set up a system
for collecting and accomplishing tasks and i start achieving things. it also
helps if i have plenty of uppers.
one time my best friend bought me a giraffe tray. i would write down everything
i thought of and throw it in the tray. then at nights i'd go through it and read
each of them. i'd throw away ones that didn't interest me any more, categorise
the rest, and put down the very next step needed to complete them in my tasks
this will last for a few weeks to a month, before i hit a snag where i can't
capture an idea (because of where it happens or because of being a bipolar
fucking wingnut) and i start to lose track of things and become overwhelmed by
how much i have to do and then give up and give in.
this is part of the reason i don't get things done. but i've noticed recently
that there is another reason i don't get things done, and that's that i tell
people about them.
telling people your plans leads to one of two things:
- they try to talk you out of it (by telling you it's dumb and you are dumb and
stupid, or telling you that somebody has already done it)
- they tell you wow that's a great idea
now, number 1 is quite discouraging. and that disappointment can mean
you don't feel as great about the idea any more. and that can make you want to
do it less. and that will mean you don't get it done.
number 2 seems great, but i've noticed that it also means i end up not doing
it. maybe because i've already got the reward for having had the great idea, so
now i don't need to do it? having already gotten my delicious endorphins?
secreted within my brain and nervous system?
recently i've actually finished a few things. without having set up a system or
finding someone who loves me enough to buy me a giraffe tray. and all i do is
keep it to myself until it's done.
the excitement about the idea, the anticipation and the eagerness to tell
someone. and knowing you can't tell anyone until you've finished it. these
things make it a priority. and you have to do it til you've
done it. and then you have the thing. and then you don't need to tell
anyone anyway because fuck them.