British Summer Time

Sunday, May 30, 2021

  • trigger warning: diet, weight, eating disorders
    • it was 2017 when i last lost a huge amount of weight. i lost about half my weight.
      • i used keto
      • eventually i realised, sometime in 2018, that thinking about food all the time and counting calories in an app was disordered
        • i've struggled with bulimia in the past, and various other mental and dietary issues
          • i was sectioned a number of years ago, so i try to be careful about cultivating new and interesting disorders
      • i decided to stop dieting, to let myself gain weight and not feel bad about it
      • i have a blood test from 2018 which shows my blood sugar was fine
      • so now i know that giving myself a break has literally given me diabetes
      • and the way to live with diabetes is to go on a diet almost identical to keto
      • what an exciting new challenge
      • what a depressing, yet thematically sound, series of events
  • i've been sick most of this week
    • physically
    • though mentally i am not doing well
      • i am not looking forward to the next part of my life
      • i don't know how to cook for myself without rice
      • i don't know how to be alone
      • sometimes i have this warm and comforting daydream where i die in my sleep
  • i set up backups on my laptop and the snoot.club server this morning
    • i'm using borg

      • because fox told me to

        • basically borg and restic is where the deduplicated encryption backup stuff is at Foxboron

      • it is a cool piece of software though

  • i was going to look into adding a gutenberg sidebar for the indieweb Post Kinds wordpress plugin this weekend, but instead i closed my laptop and had a lie down
  • i bought the Besley* and Jost* variable fonts from indestructible type* for my weblog
    • Jost* is the variable futura of my dreams
    • here is another great font: https://www.dafont.com/w95fa.font
      • i'm using this as my system font at the moment. it looks great.
        • screenshot of my computer with a retro windows-like theme
  • remember when they reanimated bob monkhouse's ashen corpse so he could appear in an advert on terrestrial television