hello everybody! I hope you are having a good weekend, and had the opportunity earlier in the week to become “bank holiday ready”.

Last Wednesday I received an e-mail from a company asking me if I was Bank Holiday Ready I thought “that’s not a thing”. I received another, “are you bank holiday ready“, I wondered if it’s like HD Ready and there’s also a state of True Bank Holiday. Once I got 4 or 5 of them I really started to reckon with it: I may not be bank holiday ready, and maybe i should be buying ham, beer, a British Airways flight and a table at flat iron square.

I sobered up for a while. Let myself feel some feelings. Mostly it turned out to be anger. I wrote a lot, processed some things. I used to think the opening line from Elliott Smith’s Twilight (“I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time, better stop now before I start crying”) was needlessly melodramatic but it’s very tangible now. Any amount of laughter is likely to turn to sobbing. I deleted all my group and family accounts and subscriptions, packed some more, and viewed many more flats.

I’ve made an offer on an apartment near Blackheath. It’s very nice. Hopefully I get it, it’s currently waiting for a reference from my current landlord. It’s fun that my current landlord can stop me from getting another place to live.

Blackheath is lovely. Lots of trees.

I ate a haggis beef burger under a weeping willow on the Peckham Rye and like Blake saw a vision of angels.

I’ve watched about 11 movies this weekend. The best was Promising Young Woman.

but who do I text when I realize I’m the largest rabbit in the world?

Anyway, I’m over the first hump. I’ve accepted it, I can see it’s the best thing for the both of us. Feeling stronger every day.

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